By Bill Carlson
Twenty-four years ago, at age 60, I was diagnosed with stage 3 colon cancer. I’d had a clean screening a year earlier and did not feel that I needed to have another but, thankfully, at my wife’s insistence, I did.
I was no stranger to cancer. Both my parents died of cancer. My father was only 61 and my mother 74.
My wife, Sheri, and I were scared. We had two sons: 4-year-old Ness and 6-year-old Zach. We had just adopted Ness from Kazakhstan two years earlier. I was afraid I would not be able to provide for my children and watch them grow up.
Treatment was urgent. There was little time for worry and fear. I had a colon resectioning surgery followed by six months — 24 sessions — of chemo.
Sheri stopped working as a film producer and took on the dual role of caregiver and primary parent during my surgery and chemo. We worked hard at maintaining the children’s normal routines.
A second cancer diagnosis
Cancer was not to be a singular journey for our family. Eighteen months after my last chemo treatment, a fast-rising PSA prompted my urologist to perform a prostate biopsy. I was diagnosed with intermediate stage prostate cancer.
The prostate cancer developed quickly just like the colon cancer had. Because of my family history, recent colon cancer and young family, my medical team recommended aggressive treatment. At age 62, I had a radical prostatectomy (removal of the entire prostate gland).
Again, my first thought was not about the treatment or prognosis — it was about my family. When you are facing something as overwhelming as a second cancer diagnosis in less than two years, parenting is a delicate balancing act. We shielded the kids by saying daddy had to have another operation.
The cancer vacation: reprieve
After my recovery from the prostate surgery, life returned from the chaos of cancer to a more normal existence filled with the joy of parenting our young family. For 12 years I continued to closely monitor both my colon and prostate cancer through regular check-ups and screenings.
These were years filled with a lot of joyful family memories. Our family attended the Cancer Relay for Life fundraisers each year.
I developed a new mindset as a two-time cancer survivor. I continued to work and enjoy my career as a commission-only salesman for a large company. I retired in 2015 at age 73 after 51 years.
Prostate cancer recurrence
In 2017, I was 75. My son Zach was a junior in college and Ness had just graduated high school. I was enjoying retirement — playing golf, traveling, spending time with family and friends — when a routine screening showed a rising PSA. My urologist ordered a whole body scan. The scan showed bone metastasis in my rib, spine and pelvis.
I had no symptoms. My urologist, who had been practicing for over 40 years, had never had a patient who had undergone a radical prostatectomy have the cancer return.
My diagnosis was stage 4 metastatic prostate cancer. Sheri and I were shocked. There is no cure for stage 4 prostate cancer, but there is treatment that can halt or slow the progression. This was the beginning of my cancer marathon which is ongoing. Uncertainty became a way of life.
I started the standard treatment, which is ADT hormone therapy in pill form and injections.
Finding support and a new care team
We moved to Oswego in 2020. I learned of the wonderful resources offered by Waterford Place Cancer Resource Center in 2021. I began attending the monthly Tuesday cancer support group meetings. This provided me a much-needed outlet to share my experience and emotions with other men undergoing cancer treatment. Sheri benefited from the caregiver counseling sessions.
In 2022, the ADT drugs stopped controlling my prostate cancer, and my urologist suggested I seek treatment at a local cancer center closer to my home in Oswego. I became a patient at Rush Copley Medical Center in Aurora in March of 2022. I was assigned a palliative care team and started on a second-generation ADT drug which cost over $12,000 a month. Medicare didn’t cover this drug, but the cancer specialty pharmacist worked with us to get the drug cost covered. I continued taking the ADT injections, started Zometa infusions every three months and got blood work and saw my oncologist monthly. Scans were ordered as needed to monitor my bone metastasis.
Genetic testing was ordered. I found that I was a carrier of a genetic mutation that makes me more susceptible to prostate cancer. I can’t stress enough the importance of early screenings and genetic testing if you have a family history of cancer.
Sheri became my care manager and has been a lifeline to me, helping navigate the complexities of treating an incurable complex illness — scheduling appointments, handling insurance, researching treatment options and checking my online patient chart portal.
More challenges
The second-generation ADT drugs stopped working in December of 2024. A PSMA scan revealed widespread metastasis in most of my bones and two spots in my left lung.
I had been able to slow the cancer progression for almost eight years, which is relatively rare.
I decided last June to undergo chemo every three weeks. After my eighth chemo treatment, I had a chemo collapse. I was bald, weak and dizzy and had three falls requiring EMTs to help get me off the floor. I was anemic and couldn’t drive. I couldn’t walk without a walker. The marathon had become an endurance test.
I stopped the chemo and my oncologist ordered home healthcare. A nurse and a physical therapist came twice a week starting in January and ending in May. I am scheduled to start outpatient physical therapy.
Finding peace and tranquility
Waterford Place has become such an asset in my quality of life. I benefit from the physical movement classes, the education support classes, men’s support group and facials, and Sheri benefits from the monthly caregiver support group. We even enjoyed a shadow boxing class.
When you walk into Waterford Place, there is a feeling of peace and tranquility that is essential for overall well-being. The staff is so kind and compassionate. It’s like having a second family — especially now that my medical treatments are limited.
I truly am an anomaly. There are times when I feel that stage 4 cancer has become a second career.
Two and a half decades ago, at age 60 I was scared. Today at 84, I have the power of love from my family and support services from Waterford Place. My sons are now 27 and 30. I have my first grandchild, Gwendolyn, who is 6 months old.
There are days when I’d like to be playing 18 holes of golf, but I have learned to adapt to “the new normal” with my physical limitations. I enjoy the small moments in life like playing with my granddaughter or watching the sun set. I start each day with hope and gratitude.
I don’t know what the future holds, but I live as a husband, father, grandfather and friend — not as a cancer patient.
Bill Carlson shared his story as keynote speaker at “Resilient by Nature,” the gala to raise funds for Waterford Place Cancer Resource Center, which provides supportive oncology services for those with cancer. Bill has been a participant at Waterford Place since 2021.
